Downsizing Tip #1: Why Can't I Let Go?
Submitted by lori on Mon, 06/01/2009 - 06:31
Downsizing is one of those hot little words floating around and it has a few different meanings depending on your point of reference. Sadly, it could mean your job was just cut, and you are now looking for employment. It might mean that your kids have (finally!) moved out and your house is just a little too big for you to manage anymore so your ready to move into something smaller. Or it could mean that you are ready to pare down the material goods within your home. For sake of clarity, I'm going to focus on the latter two thoughts because they really go hand in hand.
Even if you are only thinking of moving sometime in the near future, say within 10 years, it is never too early to start the process of elimination. For most homeowners, the mere thought of going through their attic elicits a panic attack followed closely by the 5 stages of grieving. This promptly causes a chain reaction of closing the door and vowing to get to that "soon". Sadly, "soon" could be lurking right around the corner.
If you are healthy and in no hurry to get out of your house, then maybe you do have a little more time to spend, but for some, procrastination just makes the process more difficult on yourself and your family. One reason most people struggle with downsizing is the fear of making a poor decision. How many times have we decided to throw something away and the next week need it. It happens to the best of us. Contrary to our company name, Perfection is a pretty high standard to be achieved. That simply means, as mere mortals, we have to make the best decision we can with the information and resources that we have and live with the consequences. We always remember the one or two items that we wish we hadn't gotten rid of but rarely can we recall the thousands of other items that we moved along based on our same judgement abilities. Those judgement abilities can be clouded though by outside forces such as memories.
Memories seem to be the big hurdle that causes the most distress and guilt. They can be good and bad. I've worked with people who have kept wrenches, casserole dishes, and pet hair because of the memories associated with them. We often think that by getting rid of the item, the memory will fade as well and we feel guilty for not keeping it alive and honoring it. It can also feel as though we are not being validated for our lifetime of achievements. When it becomes more and more difficult as we age to create eventful memories , it becomes especially hard to see them fade away. This can be why it is so much more difficult to get rid of that bowling trophy from when we were young and carefree.
Simply realizing why downsizing can be so difficult is the first step to beginning the process. Don't beat yourself up, feel ashamed, angry or guilty. Just recognize it and decide if you are ready to start with some baby steps. I often think of that old riddle- "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." Next, we'll talk about where to begin.
Downsizing is one of those hot little words floating around and it has a few different meanings depending on your point of reference. Sadly, it could mean your job was just cut, and you are now looking for employment. It might mean that your kids have (finally!) moved out and your house is just a little too big for you to manage anymore so your ready to move into something smaller. Or it could mean that you are ready to pare down the material goods within your home. For sake of clarity, I'm going to focus on the latter two thoughts because they really go hand in hand.Even if you are only thinking of moving sometime in the near future, say within 10 years, it is never too early to start the process of elimination. For most homeowners, the mere thought of going through their attic elicits a panic attack followed closely by the 5 stages of grieving. This promptly causes a chain reaction of closing the door and vowing to get to that "soon". Sadly, "soon" could be lurking right around the corner.
If you are healthy and in no hurry to get out of your house, then maybe you do have a little more time to spend, but for some, procrastination just makes the process more difficult on yourself and your family. One reason most people struggle with downsizing is the fear of making a poor decision. How many times have we decided to throw something away and the next week need it. It happens to the best of us. Contrary to our company name, Perfection is a pretty high standard to be achieved. That simply means, as mere mortals, we have to make the best decision we can with the information and resources that we have and live with the consequences. We always remember the one or two items that we wish we hadn't gotten rid of but rarely can we recall the thousands of other items that we moved along based on our same judgement abilities. Those judgement abilities can be clouded though by outside forces such as memories.
Memories seem to be the big hurdle that causes the most distress and guilt. They can be good and bad. I've worked with people who have kept wrenches, casserole dishes, and pet hair because of the memories associated with them. We often think that by getting rid of the item, the memory will fade as well and we feel guilty for not keeping it alive and honoring it. It can also feel as though we are not being validated for our lifetime of achievements. When it becomes more and more difficult as we age to create eventful memories , it becomes especially hard to see them fade away. This can be why it is so much more difficult to get rid of that bowling trophy from when we were young and carefree.
Simply realizing why downsizing can be so difficult is the first step to beginning the process. Don't beat yourself up, feel ashamed, angry or guilty. Just recognize it and decide if you are ready to start with some baby steps. I often think of that old riddle- "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." Next, we'll talk about where to begin.
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