Paper Survival Tips #1: Emotions

Somewhere between the paper squirrel who saves everything “just in case” and the minimalist who tosses everything in the trash, is the organized person for whom keeping important paper is no big deal.  Becoming that organized person is not simple, but taking the steps necessary to get your household paper under control is a task with many rewards, first and foremost: a good night’s sleep.

Having an organized approach to household paper can remove much of the stress associated with living in an increasingly complicated world.  As children, parents, spouses, partners, investors, citizens, and employees, we play many roles, each with a trail of paper attached. In the next few blogs I want to talk a little bit about why paper drives us so crazy and what we can do to get it under control.  Although tempting, taking a lit match to your paper piles is NOT the best approach.

Let's talk first about the emotions behind paper. Please, don't roll your eyes while reading this, I have kids that take care of that for me. Every item, paper, memento, etc. has an emotion attached to it and that emotion is what drives us in our behaviors. (Think love letter, divorce decree, adoption papers).

This is the time of the year that we see a large increase in our business because of the paper chaos. It’s tax time and there is no greater pain felt by so many as the thought of not getting their taxes done, getting reprimanded for not filing taxes or the threat of an audit. Why? Guilt, shame, embarrassment cause us to act like an ostrich burying it’s head in the sand.

My boss is writing a book right now about paper and how it makes us feel. She recently went through an audit and described the ordeal like someone had died. She went through all of the stages of grieving- Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.  How could something as innocent as a piece of a tree with writing on it cause so much emotion? Emotions drive our behaviors and behaviors drive our emotions. We fear the information that’s on the paper so we avoid it, we trash it, we stick it in a drawer, we do everything but take care of the information. This is the behavior we establish. Now the behavior becomes our coping mechanism.

Perhaps a better way to cope would be to take control. If you feel it, then deal with it. Paper is not going to go away simply because you choose not to deal with it. It will accumulate and can consume your life causing more stress and guilt. Take control of your emotions by taking control of your paper. Just like the well known 12-step programs, the first step to dealing with the paper is to recognize that you have an issue to deal with. Get the help you need either from an accountant, a friend helping to sort paper, a professional organizer to set up a system or a counselor to help you work through your emotions.

Next time I'll talk a little bit about the behaviors that we use to cope and how to work with them instead of against them.